Just a couple quick notes to start with – if pregnancy stories are tough for you to read, or triggering for any reason at all, please be kind to yourself. There is no reason at all for you to read this story if it isn’t helpful for you. Although it is a positive birth story in my eyes, it does include a very fast labor, a call to 911, and a birth at home.
I’ve also included affiliate links for The Birth Hour’s Know Your Options Childbirth Course. If you sign up via my link I’ll get a kickback at no additional cost to you. I so appreciate your support! Okay. Let’s dive in!
Before getting pregnant with Emmeline I began listening to The Birth Hour podcast. I purposely avoided listening to birth stories when I was pregnant with Beckett because most of the ones I’d heard were scary or difficult and didn’t turn out the way the mom “planned.” I had this idea in my head that all (or at least most) birth stories were like that. I simply hadn’t heard enough positive stories to change this preconceived notion I was carrying around with me.
The second time around I was much more willing to hear other women share their stories. I admittedly only listened to the stories whose titles and descriptions sounded positive. For my own sake I avoided listening to any that included infant loss or miscarriage – I know myself well enough to know that, especially while pregnant, those stories would only make my imagination go wild and make me feel fearful of all the things that could potentially go wrong with my baby. For my own mental health I knew it would be best for me to avoid stories of loss while pregnant.
Through listening to these stories I gained a much greater appreciation for the variety of experiences women have through pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum. I began to realize how little I really knew about it all (still know about it all), even having experienced it myself once before. I also learned so much through the podcast about choosing your care provider, the questions you can (and should) ask during pregnancy, the options when it comes to birthing locations, and even the variety of postpartum experiences women have.
I really think I internalized a lot of these women’s stories more than I can even verbalize. Listening to their stories gave me much more confidence going into my second pregnancy – confidence in what my body was capable of, confidence in asking questions during pregnancy, and confidence to ask for what I needed in labor, when the first time around I was more tempted to just keep quiet. With my pregnancy with Beckett I simply believed that my doctor, nurses, etc would either read my mind and know what I needed or that they would answer all the questions I didn’t know to ask.
If you’ve read the story of Beckett’s arrival into the world, you might remember the doctor (Dr Salvemini) who sat on the end of my bed and encouraged me through transition when I started asking for “something to take the edge off” the labor pain I was struggling through. She knew I wanted to go unmedicated if possible and her expertise and words of encouragement helped me to push through at just the right moment when I was feeling completely exhausted and worn out.
When we got pregnant this time around I knew I wanted to have her as our care provider if at all possible. It wasn’t that I didn’t like my other doctor or that practice, it was just that I had felt so at ease with Dr Sal when I saw her in the hospital. I knew I would be more comfortable being seen by her, and I really wanted to thank her in person for the way she empowered me during my labor with Beckett.
It turns out she practices at an office one floor above my old doctor, is still within our insurance network, and was accepting new patients, so it was a simple ask when I called in to establish care with her. From our first visit with Dr Salvemini I knew I’d made the right decision. She always came in with a smile, graciously welcomed Beckett being at nearly every appointment – even having him “help” her measure my belly, and she always took the time to answer every question without judgment and without making me feel dumb.
I’m such a proponent for women finding a doctor they feel totally comfortable with and one they’re not afraid to ask questions of. That’s what they’re there for! You should never feel afraid to ask a question and your doctor should never brush your question aside (which my previous one had, truthfully, done before). It’s one thing to reassure you and let you know the things you’re asking about are normal during pregnancy and something you need not worry about for that reason. It’s another thing entirely to brush your question aside and not answer it because “you don’t need to worry about that,” without giving you any reasons to back it up. Doctor Sal always took the time to answer my questions and truly make us (all!) feel cared for.
Before having Beckett, Tim and I took the three-part class our hospital offered. It was okay. Mostly they went over things we already knew. This time around I was hungry for more knowledge and I wanted something more in-depth. When Bryn, who hosts The Birth Hour opened the Know Your Options Childbirth Course for enrollment in the spring, I knew immediately I wanted to sign up. It was definitely an investment, but one I have zero regrets about. I could not be more grateful that we decided to sign up for this course. It was SO worth it.
To anyone considering taking a birth class, I highly recommend this one. You get to go at your own pace, watch and rewatch each video in the comfort of your own home, and you also have lifetime access to all the information for future pregnancies. Really I cannot cannot recommend the Know Your Options Course enough.
I love that it’s called “know your options” – while Stephanie the teacher is a doula, childbirth educator, lactation consultant, etc, she doesn’t push one particular “birth plan” or another. She presents all the options, sharing the benefits and risks of each one, equipping you to make the decision that is best for you and your baby. To me this was most obvious by their intentional decision to start the course with the module on cesarean births. Too often in “natural birth” circles, cesareans carry this stigma of being a second-rate birth experience, when in reality they are an equally valid and sometimes completely necessary way of bringing your baby safely into the world. I loved that Bryn and Stephanie started with this unit because it sort of made a statement – a reminder to anxious mamas that the end goal is a healthy baby and mama, even if the process to get there looks different from what you imagined.
Here’s that link again if you’re expecting and interested in knowing more about the course. I’m so happy to answer any questions as well if you’re curious about it and want to know more before committing! Send me a message over on my personal Instagram account if you have any questions at all!
Click through for the next part of Emmeline’s birth story!